


You Are Loved

by Celamentum



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Illustrated, M/M, Optimism, not sure what else to tag this as?, probably not what you think, selfcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:11:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celamentum/pseuds/Celamentum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takumi felt them and knew who they were and why they were here.</p>
<p>It was not fear that grasped at him as the figure's approach drew ever closer, bringing into clarity the outline of their form that closely mirrored his own. Takumi should have felt some sort of anxiety or distress facing himself in a dream that he perceived as a nightmare but there was none. </p>
<p>There was only heartbreak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are Loved

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfiction in like 10 years. :') And I love me some selfcest. Also I'm sorry.
> 
> MANY THANKS TO NUNU FOR PROOF-READING, EDITING THE SHIT OUT OF IT AND HELPING ME FIND WAYS TO RE-WRITE THINGS TO CREATE A BETTER WORK IN THE END. This wouldn't have been half as good as it is now without her. ILU NUNU.

He was no stranger to nightmares.

They were frequent and relentless, so much so that Takumi had little choice but to resign to them. He has since allowed himself to grow accustomed to the mental and physical fatigue that they left in him on a daily basis. A "good night's rest" was a rare occurrence, one that the second Prince of Hoshido often dreaded since it generally left his exhausted being worst for wear with the unacquainted rest.

He was also no stranger to finding himself standing in the dark reaches of his mind, waiting for whatever terror to surface from the shadows that night. No matter how familiar he became with the oppressive darkness, it never failed to churn Takumi's heart, knotting his breath with fear; the unease making him dizzy despite being in a deep, impenetrable sleep.

Admittedly, his dreams weren't as bad as they used to be. As of late, Takumi had found that they were becoming less vivid and he often forgot them soon after waking --  a welcome change. He found himself with more energy to see himself through the day; the dread of closing his eyes was growing lesser every night.

He would be okay.

Things were different now -- it almost seemed a little easier now that he realized he had his family. That was a revelation in its own: his family was there for him. All this time he convinced himself he was unloved and hurting all alone when that had not been the case at all. They were all so young dealing with the sudden loss of their father and sibling in their different ways, neglecting each other in an effort to hide and lick their own wounds, trying to be strong.

Now that Kamui had come back to them, they were learning to become a family again. Kamui was like a thread that gently stitched and pulled them all together, bringing them close enough that they could begin to heal. Their once rather frail family bonds were becoming a reassuring support, a great strength, and a source of comfort. Takumi had been rediscovering love and being loved while his nightmares grew smaller and distant.

By now Takumi had quietly noted that he was walking forward in his dream -- he knew this as he felt his heart grow a little lighter with every step. Even when he couldn't see the path he was walking on in the darkness of his consciousness, a sense of peace and alleviation was instilled in him.  

He would be okay.

Then, with eyes fixated straight ahead, the black horizon wavered. A figure emerged from the haze in the distance, blurry and hard to make out at first. It moved sluggishly, making its way toward Takumi, walking in the same direction the Prince had come from.

Takumi knew. It was beyond comprehension how he knew.

The figure of a person had scarcely come into focus yet it was more familiar than even the black abyss that enveloped them. Takumi felt them and knew who they were and why they were here.

It was not fear that grasped at him as the figure's approach drew ever closer, bringing into clarity the outline of their form that closely mirrored his own. Takumi should have felt some sort of anxiety or distress facing himself in a dream that he perceived as a nightmare but there was none.

There was only heartbreak.

His other self looked more exhausted than Takumi had ever felt in his life to the point of being unrecognizable to all but Takumi himself. The worn edges of his eyes were hollow and dark, his skin a pale grey that nearly blended with his hair. Takumi could have sworn he was looking at an empty shell of himself yet the all too intimate emotions his other self seemed inundated with told a different story. The Prince ached at the familiarity of those emotions as they pricked his heart.

_Sadness, guilt, unloved, unloved._

It choked him.

They were close enough to touch now. The Prince took his other's cold hand in his own where they met, both pausing in their journey. Like staring at his reflection, it was easy looking into his own eyes -- they were looking right through him, devoid of light, unblinkingly captivated by what was behind him.

"You don't want to go there," Takumi said softly, bringing up a hand to gently cup his other self's cheek, to force them to look at his own pleading expression. "There is nothing there."

_Loneliness, helplessness, unloved, unloved._

As if sculpted from stone, his reflection did not budge. Takumi squeezed the hand in his own to feel it tremble slightly.

"You are not alone," the Prince started again, his throat tightened, causing the words that fell from his mouth to tumble out in broken segments. "Y-You may not believe it but there are people that love you, that ... they care. I know... your family..." A deep breath. "O-our family does love us. They need you."

_Anger, self-loathing, unloved, unloved._

Takumi's breath caught in his throat and quaked at the intensity of the emotions that erupted from his other; their guise darkened with an understated violence.

"No, no, no!" panicked, Takumi released the hand in his to reach up with both to stroke his other self's cheeks and hair, attempting to coax them out of their fury. Their familiar amber eyes burned with unshakable animosity.

_Unloved, longing, forsaken._

The last outburst of emotion rendered Takumi breathless with the feelings of betrayal that they imbued in him; this was new on a completely different level -- it was painfully raw and more wretched than anything he had experienced before. Gasping softly, he shook his head in confusion as tears welled up in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks. There was so much loss and anguish in the boy before him that Takumi felt they shared another part of his life, one he had not lived through himself, one he had just barely traced his fingers over.

They were adrift, their aim shaking, mark undetermined... Except Takumi knew where he was needed, where there were people waiting for him. It securely anchored him while he fought the tides of the unforgiving sea in his heart. He had a destination even though he wasn't sure how to get there. Behind his other self, a spark of light flickered in the distance, beckoning him quietly with the hearts of his loved ones yearning for him.

If only...

"You are not lost," Takumi leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together while holding the face before him tenderly in his hands. His voice was gentle but uneven, having grown weary with heartache. He had said and meant it for the both of them when he spoke; a life longing for the acknowledgment and love of others was something they were both defined by, however Takumi realized now he had simply been denying himself that favor. "Please look."

Tilting his head slightly to the side, Takumi dipped forward, closing the small gap between their lips. Somehow, Takumi wanted to impart on himself those feelings of love; he leaned back a fraction to study the expression of his other self before crushing stiff lips beneath his own again, leaving wet butterfly kisses across the cool skin under his own. He had to tell himself that he was worthy, that he could even learn to love himself.

But _he_ felt nothing.

Wetness fell into his palm and Takumi opened his eyes to witness a single droplet trickle down the face cradled in his hands before he grasped at empty air. Like a ghost, his other self had slipped past, once again treading down a path the Prince could no longer follow nor look back on. There was nothing he could do and Takumi lamented in his powerlessness -- what good was he if he couldn't even save himself?

The light in the distance twinkled, as if endowing Takumi with a warm quiet smile. That's right, he was not lost.

With muted footsteps fading behind him, the Hoshidan Prince continued to press forward on his own path. Pleasant rays of light shot from the star shimmering before him, cradling him with such tenderness that Takumi couldn't help but cry once again.

When he finally opened his eyes, he felt the skin of his cheeks taut with dried tears. As the morning melody of songbirds threatened to lull him back to sleep, Takumi rose from his cot, his heart still twinged faintly with a dream ebbing away from his memory. A compassionate warmth enveloped his slumbersome mind.

He would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Art was drawn by me!
> 
> All I want is for Takumi to be happy and for him to learn to love himself :'(. TAKUMI IS LOVE, TAKUMI IS LIFE. PROTECT HIM. (I am also ALL ABOUT Leokumi.)  
> Come join me on [★ my FE Twitter](https://twitter.com/leokumifucker) for incoherent yelling and daily doodles.


End file.
